The Times published my story on Monday.
Larissa, the Defence Editor, was more than kind, but there's something the article couldn't capture and it's the thing that matters most.
In 2008 I made a serious mistake. I lost top-secret documents on a train. I was prosecuted, demoted, and my civil service career, which had become my entire identity, effectively ended overnight.
What followed was the darkest period of my life. I won't dress it up.
But I'm still here, even if sometimes I didn’t see how that would be. And resilience, therapy, and time, all played a part. But the number one reason that fact is true, by a mile, is people.
Above all, my wife Maddie.
She never left. Not once. Not when the world was watching, not when I was at my worst, not when no one on earth would have blamed her for walking away. She was just there, present, unwavering, without judgement, and with love that I still don't feel I've fully earned.
Around her, a constellation of others. My beautiful step-daughters – more magnificent than I know how to describe. My sister, Lyndsay, and her family and my parents who never stopped loving, even when I shut myself away from them in shame. Polly, Will, Lisa, Hugh, Cheryl. Friends who didn't disappear. Colleagues who wrote character references and meant every word. The people at Exclusive Analysis who gave me a job, taking a chance on someone still quite broken, and who are still my friends. My therapist who helped me understand what had happened to me, and slowly helped me find a way back. And two brilliant coaches that bookend the process – James from when I first started to look for work after it had all happened and proved how much more than a career coach he really is. And the marvellous and unique Charlotte (https://www.charlottefowles.com/) who even now stands by my side and cheerleads when I need it and never ever judges. There are more too - too many to mention and I'm sorry if I've missed you from here. But I never forget.
I built NewDay because I know what it feels like to handle information that breaks you, and to not have the right support around you when it does. But I also built it because I know what the right support looks like. I lived it.
To everyone who showed up for me: thank you. You know who you are.
And Maddie, you were my superhero then. You still are.
Larissa Brown’s original article is here (behind a paywall): https://www.thetimes.com/uk/defence/article/richard-jackson-iraq-al-qaeda-files-grsvmc0nj
